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The Honolulu Advertiser
Updated at 11:48 a.m., Thursday, September 11, 2008

NFL: Raiders, 49ers rated 1-2 ... in the Bottom Ten

By Steve Harvey
Special to the Los Angeles Times

Now the Bay Area knows how L.A. feels — neither has a pro football team.

The Raiders, living up to their revised "Commitment to Self-Destruction" motto, fell 14-41 to Denver, their sixth straight season-opening loss. And Raiders fans were in midseason form. Forty-five were arrested for unruly behavior.

Meanwhile, the 49ers were bolstered by the signing of ex-St. Louis Lamb receiver Isaac Bruce, who predicted that his new team would score 56 points a game in the Mike Martz offense. The 49ers scored 13 against the very average Arizona Cardinals — and Bruce didn't catch a pass.

In San Diego, Dante Rosario made a last-second touchdown catch to give Carolina a 26-24 win over the Chargers — and was identified in a Fox Sports graphic as Rosario Dawson. She is an actress. Then, again, she's 5-8. Maybe the Chargers should sign her as a cornerback.

Wreck/Record/Last Week/Next Loss

1. Oakland/0-1/14-41, Denver/Kansas City

2. San Francisco/0-1/13-23, Arizona/Seattle

3. St. Louis/0-1/3-38, Philadelphia/N.J. Giants

4. Seattle/0-1/10-34, Buffalo/San Francisco

5. San Diego/0-1/24-26, Rosario/Denver

6. Cincinnati (0-1), 7.Tampa Bay (0-1), 8. Indianapolis (0-1), 9. Minnehaha (0-1), 10. ESPN's too-chatty second-string team of Mike Greenberg, Mike Golic and Mike Ditka, who called the Oakland-Denver game. There should be an NFL rule limiting the number of Mikes on one broadcast to two, if not one.

— Crummy Game of the Week: San Francisco (0-1) vs. Seattle (0-1).

— How's that again? ESPN's Ditka, as quoted by awfulannouncing.blogspot.com, after one play Monday night: "Can't make chicken salad out of chicken noodle."