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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Tuesday, August 7, 2007

ABOUT WOMEN
Reality will hit spoiled teens hard

By Catherine E. Toth
Advertiser Columnist

Some experts fault parents.

Others point at MTV.

One Wall Street Journal columnist even blamed Mr. Rogers.

Whatever the cause, it's obvious: Today's young people — many, but not all — feel a strong sense of entitlement.

Maybe it's from all those years of getting trophies for just being on a soccer team that doesn't ever cut anyone.

Or maybe it's that whole "I'm special" mentality that teachers and parents have used to help bolster self-esteem and confidence.

All, no doubt, sprung from good intentions.

But has it gone too far?

I had a conversation with a girlfriend who's been teaching for years.

She said she's shocked at the lack of respect her students exhibit. Not just to her, but to each other.

"It's like they really believe those shirts they wear," she said. "The ones that say, 'It's all about me.' "

Of course, not all teens and twentysomethings are like this.

Many volunteer, do chores, work two jobs to pay for their own college tuition and support aging grandparents — humbling the rest of us and making their parents excessively proud.

But it seems they've become more the exception than the rule.

Case in point: consumer spending.

Companies like David & Goliath, which makes novelty tees with phrases like "Hello, my name is High Maintenance" and "Parents are stupid," are racking in more than $40 million in annual sales.

Teens are buying them — and perhaps believing them.

Maybe that's why TV shows like "My Super Sweet 16" are so enormously popular. It exalts this kind of over-the-top, "I-want-it-all" behavior that taps into the desire of so many teens.

Spending excessive amounts of their parents' money on lavish parties that cost more than most weddings.

Insisting on flying to Europe to find that perfect dress.

Demanding luxury cars before they're even old enough to drive.

When could teenagers get away with this?

Some experts have argued that parents who overindulge their children are part of the problem.

Giving in to their every whim doesn't teach these kids patience, discipline and self-restraint. It doesn't teach them about working hard for something they want, how to strive for goals, or that the world — more times than not — can be unfair.

Indulging them doesn't help them in the long run. In fact, it may set them up for disappointment, even failure.

Because when they enter the workforce, they'll get hit with a stinging reality slap:

Their bosses don't wear David & Goliath.

Reach Catherine E. Toth at ctoth@honoluluadvertiser.com. Read her daily blog at blogs.honoluluadvertiser.com.