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The Honolulu Advertiser
Posted on: Friday, November 18, 2005

Shy couple's crush tough assignment

By Tara Solomon

Dear Advice Diva:

For over a year now, my friend "Lisa" has had the hots for "Mike," one of our co-workers. When Lisa first told me of this crush, I could see definite signs that Mike liked her too, but he's so shy that neither of us felt he'd ever make a move. I told Lisa from the start to go for it but she's also shy and thinks it's tacky for the girl to pursue the guy.

At one point, Lisa asked me to send Mike an e-mail saying I thought she might be interested in him and he should go for it, but he never acknowledged it. My husband and I have also had them over to dinner several times to try to spark something, but to no avail. Lisa comes to me almost daily to tell me of her encounters with Mike and ask for advice.

Since she's not willing to make a move on him, I don't know what else to tell her. If Mike is interested, and I really think he might be, he's very clearly not willing to make a move, either. Do I approach Mike directly in an attempt to help a friend, or do I just let these two go on admiring each other from afar?

—Just Trying to Help

Dear Just Trying:

We commend you for having the patience of Job with these two. The Advice Diva, on the other hand, would have reached her limit after the month-and-a-half mark. Your final love intervention for Lisa and Mike? Arrange a double-date for dinner and the movies, then arrange for you and your husband to disappear after the credits. If no romance sparks after sitting in a darkened theater, they are indeed hopeless.

DIVA'S MAILBAG

Dear Advice Diva:

I'm sure I'm not the only female reader annoyed by Rob, the guy who saw nothing wrong with men commenting on other women in front of their partners. There's something wrong with us if we don't embrace it? I wonder how Rob would feel if his girlfriend came home and reported that she saw an "extraordinarily muscular guy in our living room."

—Christine

The Advice Diva welcomes your questions — particularly the more amusing ones. Write her at advicediva@herald.com.