Rather than waiting for their dead-end postal jobs to slowly make them go you-know-what, a couple of eternal optimists set their sights on the big-buck promises of opening their own gourmet health-food restaurant. The fact that they have no restaurant management experience doesn't stop them. (Consequently, neither does the fact that there's just no bleeping way even mega-sunny Rachel Ray would consider a Boca burger gourmet.) Hilarity ensues. And there you have the opening pitch of playwright Tom Rooney's 1992 farce "Flaming Idiots," opening at 7:30 tonight at Manoa Valley Theatre. 988-6131.

— Derek Paiva

PRE-HOLIDAY TIP

BE YOUR OWN POST OFFICE

OK, so it's only November. But if you want your Christmas gifts to make it to the Mainland — or beyond — in time, you'd better start planning now.

The U.S Postal Service's Click-N-Ship service makes it a little easier to mail off your Christmas cards and gifts this year. You can print shipping labels and pay postage right from your computer. Then you can notify your mail carrier to pick up parcels at your home, free of charge. Visit usps.com /clicknship.

— Catherine E. Toth

final word

"I'm open to ("U2: The Musical"), as long as we get to write and produce it. I'm interested in that form because it's so bad."

U2 frontman Bono | in New York magazine